Monday, February 14, 2011

My Detox


Now that most of my friends know about my alleged New Ageyness J, I don’t have much to hide!

There is a little process of letting go that occurred to be sometime ago. It helped me a lot, and in sharing it with some close friends, I realized some others might find it helpful too.

Recently, when I was caught in some drama of my own and was very confused, I badly needed some exercise that would help me release some negativity that was beginning to show up from within me. I needed more than a mere temporary distraction. I also did not want the usual process: getting bitchy and cynical about it and blaming it on something or someone, thus relinquishing responsibility for my own stuff. At the same time, I felt that this was going to be rather big, and that I was going to need some definitive process for doing this myself.

It was while endlessly ruminating on these that a process occurred to me. I am sure it was a product of a lot of reading, thinking and listening I have been doing for a while now. It sounded good to me, and I worked with it. Here is it how it goes.

The fundamental purpose was this: to regain peace. And to do that I knew I had to allow whatever toxicity that was welling up inside me to surface, and then to release it. But, with the benefit of past experience with this kind of stuff, I knew this was easier said than done. In all likelihood, I would start judging myself harshly for all that I would get to see coming from within me. I also knew that I might give in to the easy way out – blame game. So this process, guided by four principles, really helped me this time. Here they are:

(1)   Love and compassion are the only things that will see me through this, see me through anything. And that has to begin with myself. I am not going to judge myself no matter what I see when I take a good look within.
(2)   I will hold up to light whatever comes up, and release them. I will not be selective. I will not hold back some and release some. I shall have no favourites among these toxins.
(3)   When I see my thoughts about other people surfacing, I will not resort to blaming them. No blame. The only thing to do with them is to tell these thoughts, “Thank you for your visit, but I need you to go now. We are faultless.”
(4)   No matter how painful this process turns out to be, I will remember that I am not alone, I am guided and helped. Also, this is not an endless tunnel. I am working towards peace.

If you have a similar process or if you have one of your own and you are willing to share, please do. If not here, you can email me at aniruddh.vasudevan@gmail.com

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Somehow you always seem to articulate what I need the most to hear!

I don't know about a process as such but have just been realizing the profound-ness of your first point -- we truly cannot be loving and compassionate towards anyone else without first being loving and compassionate to ourselves. And, once we really do love ourselves truly, it is impossible to look at others as 'Others'!

So, ultimately love and compassion towards oneself is all one needs -- it feels like so little saying it out loud but it's everything and includes everyone!

D

Anonymous said...

i love you sweetheart, and im so happy that you are undergoing this detox. if there is anyone that deserves all the happiness in the world it is you. LOTS OF LOVE AND LIGHT, s

Unknown said...

Aniruddh, I cannot thank you enough for sharing your experience with me. I have used and continue to use and I am amazed at how with each time I do it what started as a painful process became a celebration. I feel so much lighter and joyful. Some how saying thank you doesnt seem enough.
All my love.. Lakshmi